Snape's Secret Past
by sevysgirl
Summary: Ever wonder why Snape's always so, well, irritable? Here's my take on what caused it! NEW CHAPTER WITH H&H suspense.
1. Chapter 1 Back to School

Snape's Secret Past, a FF Why is Snape so angry and irritable all the time? I've read the stories about how maybe he loved Lily Evans, but that only explains why he hated James Potter and Harry so much. It doesn't really convince me why he turned to the dark side.  
  
No, there has to be something darker there, something so painful that he had so much anger in him that it was all he could do to join the dark side. I believe it could only be the loss of a loved one. And when everything went down after the defeat of the Dark Lord, only Dumbledore trusted him enough to give him a job. And so now he's been stuck in this dead in job , no where else to go, with a broken heart. And then here comes Harry only to remind him of his 1st love Lily.  
  
So, here's my story. It is my sincere hope that the last 2 books have some element of this story, but if not I'll survive. Besides, I'm not JK and I don't know how she thinks, and as you will see, I like sad endings!! Snape fans, bear with me, this is gonna start with Harry, but it will eventually work into Snape's past.  
  
Chapter 1: back to school: Harry stepped off the Hogwarts Express and looked over the lake to the magestic castle he loved to call home. It had been only a few months since he last saw it, but it felt like way too long. Someone behind him yelled, "Hey, Harry are you coming or what?" Harry responded, "Yeah, hold on a minute Hermione. Where's Ron?" Hermione shrugged her shoulders. Just then, Ron fell out of the train, followed by none other than Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Where's Potter?" Draco demanded. "Harry, I tried to stop him," Ron exclaimed. Harry walked past where Ron had fallen and stared right into Draco's face. "What do you want now, Malfoy."(And yes that's a . not a ?) Harry asked. "Ah, Potter, glad I finally found you. I looked for you for hours on the train, but couldn't seem to find you. I thought maybe you were hiding!" Malfoy laughed. Harry responded, "I'm not afraid of you Malfoy, what is it?"  
  
"Well," said Malfoy, "I was going to ask you if you planned on making a name for yourself again this year?" Harry was filled with rage. "Because if you are, I want to be the first to congratulate you on your stupidity!" he laughed even louder now. Then, Malfoy looked serious at Harry, "This year you won't be as lucky as in years past, Potter." Harry was about to say something back, when Hagrid walked up and directed everyone to where they needed to go. "First years follow me," as he always said. "Harry come on," Hermione said, "Grynifords follow me!" Ron walked up beside Harry, "This is going to be just great! With her as a Prefect, we won't have any fun!" Harry laughed, but he was happy for her.  
  
The first month of school went as normal. Their classes only seemed to get harder, especially Potions. It seemed Snape was even more upset than usual. Other than that, not many exciting things were happening. With Fred and George gone, Ron wasn't up for much. "I feel like this place isn't fun anymore," Ron told Harry one afternoon in early October in the common's room. Harry looked at him dumbfounded, "Well, yeah I guess, with Hermione breathing down our backs all the time." Ron nodded.  
  
Just then, Hermione walked up, "What are you two doing?" "Just our homework, Hermione," Harry answered. Ron added, "I guess you've rubbed off on us." Hermione smiled, "Well, don't get any bright ideas. This year, I'm not going to bail you out." Ron looked annoyed, "Why did you come bother us?" Hermione was taken aback by his attitude, "Well, I was going to tell you that the teacher's have decided to have a Spring dance next semester!" And with that she walked off. Ron and Harry looked at each other. Ron asked, "Did she want one of us to ask her or something?" "I don't know," Harry answered.  
  
One morning, Harry received a letter from Sirius. He wanted Harry to know that he had moved again, but was keeping an eye on things. Sirius's letter warned Harry to be careful, things were too quiet. "He just can't except the fact that maybe you- know-who isn't as powerful as everyone thinks yet!" Ron muttered. Hermione looked at him oddly, "I wouldn't be so confident Ron." Harry looked at both of them, "Yes, but until something serious happens, I don't even want to think about that.that thing." Hermione nodded, "Yes, good idea Harry. You two do not need to be getting yourselves into trouble this year.  
  
Ron jumped in, "US 2!! I do believe that you usually manage to get yourself involved!" Hermione didn't answer. Harry thought about how the school year had been going. It did seem a little quiet. He had noticed that for such a quiet time, Dumbledore was very busy and Snape had been absent from class quite a few times.  
  
One day, at breakfast Harry noticed Ron acting strange. He wasn't eating either. "Are you ok?" he asked. "Yeah, I've just had a bad headache since I woke up this morning. And I feel if I eat anything, I'm gonna puck!" Ron answered. "Well, maybe you should go see Madame Pomfrey," Harry said kindly, "There's some weird bug going around you know." "Yeah," Hermione added, "Neville's been out all week." "Let's go see him after Potions," Harry said.  
  
So, after breakfast the three headed to potions, where Snape proceeded to give Ron an especially hard time simply because he was sick. Afterwards, they were heading toward the hospital wing when Ron fell over. Hermione, walking behind him up the stairs, caught him as he fell back. "Are you ok, Ron?" Harry asked. "No, I don't think so anymore!" Ron thanked Hermione as he stood back up. She offered, "Maybe we should carry you." Ron tried to say no, but before he knew it, she had already put one of his arms around her shoulder. Harry took Ron's other arm and together they walked up to the hospital wing where Madame Pomfrey immediately took him and wouldn't let either Harry or Hermione near him. All they got out of her was, "It's better if you let him rest for a few days, now get out!"  
  
So, for the next few days, Harry and Hermione tried to do their studies and not think about their friend, but not even Hermione could concentrate. So, one day, while Hermione was in class and Harry had a break, Harry went to see Ron. He was very pale, but brightened up a little when he saw Harry. "Hey, where have you been?" Ron asked enthusiastically. Harry simply smiled, "How are you feeling?" "Better," Ron replied. "We missed you at the Halloween feast, it wasn't the same." "Yeah," Ron signed, "it wasn't the same for me either."  
  
The two exchanged a little laugh. "Well, Madame P. says I should be good as new in a few weeks. Neville's getting out next week!" Ron exclaimed. "That's great!" Harry answered. Ron asked "So, how's Hermione doing? I hope she isn't worrying about me too much." "Oh, she's worrying as much as she normally does," Harry replied with a laugh. "Yeah, she sure is great, isn't she?" Ron stated. Harry looked at him with suspicion, "What do you mean Ron?" "Well, I. I just." "Spit it out," Harry replied, "Do you like her or something?"  
  
Ron was silent for a minute, "Well, of course I like her, but I think I .really like, like her." Harry stood stunned. "Actually, I was gonna tell you Harry," Ron continued, "but then I got sick and all." "When did this happen??!!" Harry yelled. "I don't know," Ron answered in shame. "You just didn't wake up one day and decide 'Oh I like Hermione now' did you?" Harry continued to shout. "SHH!!" Rom exclaimed, "You don't have to tell the whole world! Look, it just happened, I guess over time, just different things until one day I realized how wonderful she is, and she is wonderful Harry." Harry couldn't say anything, he couldn't even think. He sat down after a minute because he was afraid he'd pass out if he stood any longer. "So why did you tell me this?" Harry finally asked. "Well, I thought, since I'm stuck here, maybe you could, maybe, talk to her for me?" Ron asked softly. "WHAT!?" Harry exclaimed, "Are you crazy? I just can't walk up to her and say 'Hey Hermione, Ron's got this huge crush on you, how do you feel about that?'" "I'm not saying you have to or anything," Ron said in disgust.  
  
Harry thought for a minute while he stared at Ron. What would happen if Hermione didn't feel the same way? "Ok, I'll work on it," Harry finally answered. Ron's face brightened up again. "If it'll make you get better faster, then I'll do it. But I'm not promising anything, this could take some time," Harry replied. "That's fine, maybe you can find out without having to really tell her, just question her a bit," Ron exclaimed. "We'll see," was all Harry could say. And so, he promised Ron, he wouldn't tell anyone their plan and that he'd come by everyday to give him updates.  
  
Harry walked back to the Common Room in distress. How could he possibly pull this off? As he walked in, he was still pondering this, when he saw Hermione sitting in a chair with a book. She looked up at Harry, "Where have you been?" "I went to see Ron," he explained. "Oh," Hermione seemed to excuse his absence. Harry started to walk up the stairs, but then decided to get it over with. "Hermione," he asked, "Do you think we could take a walk around the lake tomorrow morning?" Hermione looked perplexed, "Sure, is their something you need to tell me?" "No," Harry answered, "I just need to take a walk. It'd be nice to have some company." Hermione smiled, "Sure Harry." And with that he turned back up stairs and went to take a nap before dinner. 


	2. What will she say?

Chapter 2: What Will She Say?  
  
Harry had trouble sleeping that night. He woke up early the next morning to find Hermione already in the Common's room doing homework. "There you are Harry. Do you still wanna take that walk?" Harry nodded. So they walked out of the room and down to the lake. Not many people were awake at this early hour, the sun wasn't even up yet. They walked in silence for quite some time before Harry spoke, "Hermione, I'm sorry to drag you all the way down here, it's just that things haven't been right lately and well." "You're upset, that's all. I know. I am too," Hermione added. Harry looked at her in surprise, "Yeah, I guess I am." Hermione continued, "With Ron sick and me, well I've been really busy lately, you haven't had anyone to talk to. I haven't been a very good friend." Harry immediately reacted, "No, it's not you. I'm sure you've been just as worried as me about Ron." Harry hoped she would say something encouraging that he could report to Ron. Hermione responded, "Of course, I'm worried about him! He's my friend too, Harry!" They continued to walk back up to the castle in silence.   
  
  
  
That afternoon, Harry went to see Ron. When Ron asked what she said, all Harry could say was, " Well, she said she was really worried about you." That seemed to please Ron enough, but Harry wasn't sure how long he could keep this up. For the next few days Harry and Hermione took their daily walks. It was starting to snow and the lake was beginning to ice. Harry had given up trying to pry information out of Hermione. Instead, they talked about old memories and things Ron had said that made them laugh. By the end of the week, Ron was getting upset. Harry hadn't found out anything worthwhile for him. So, Harry told him that these things take time and that he would know by next week.   
  
Harry kept talking to Hermione every morning. By the middle of the week, Harry was ready. So, one morning after they had walked a while, Harry sat down next to a tree and talked to Hermione about the old times and Ron. "You know he's really a great guy," Harry said enthusiastically. Hermione stared at him for moment, "What's that suppose to mean?" Harry was caught off guard, "Well, it's just that." Hermione stared intensely at him, "What? You're hiding something, I know it! TELL ME!" Harry didn't know what to do, so he blurted everything out, "Well, Ron and I were talking and he said that, well.. He likes you Hermione, like really likes you." Hermione looked like she wasn't breathing, "What?! That's crazy, I never even. UH!!!!!" She stood up and looked back down at Harry, "You tell that little pervert, that I am his friend, and he better not think differently if he wants to KEEP my friendship!" Then she ran away before Harry could say anything. "Ron's not going to like this," he said to himself.  
  
Harry thought all day about what Hermione had said, and decided that it might be better not to tell Ron. Harry rationalized it all in his head, 'If I tell him, he'll lose his drive to get better. He'll get depressed and get worse!" So, Harry only told Ron that the opportunity hadn't arisen. In fact, he told him that for quite some time. Hermione wasn't so upset that she wouldn't take walks with Harry every morning. They were beginning to enjoy their time together. They would sit under a tree and watch the sun rise. People were starting to say things about them, that they were spending too much time together, that they were keeping secrets. They didn't pay attention though.   
  
After a few weeks, Ron seemed to be getting much better. Harry convinced Hermione to go see him one afternoon. As they walked up the stairs he said, "Um, Hermione, just don't mention what we talked about the other day. He's embarrassed enough." Hermione agreed. It didn't go so well. Harry did most of the talking, but Ron seemed happy to have her there. When they left, Hermione said a thoughtful, "Well, I hope your well soon Ron. We really miss having you around." Ron was a little giddy.   
  
The next morning, Harry and Hermione sat under the same tree they had been sitting under for weeks and discussed their visit with Ron. Hermione tried to explain why she was so silent, "It's just that ever since you told me that, I feel weird being around him." Harry asked, "Hermione, you consider Ron a good friend, right?" "Yeah," Hermione answered. "Ok," Harry continued, "and you think he's really funny?" "Yeah, I guess, some of his jokes are really stupid, but." said Hermione. "And you think he's a great guy too?" Harry asked. Hermione hesitated, "Yeah, he's really nice, but." "So," Harry added, "why can't you give him a chance? You're so upset about what he said, it just seems you've been thinking about it a lot." "HARRY STOP IT!" Hermione yelled. She jumped up and walked to the other side of the tree, her back to him, as if she was going to walk back to the school. "Hermione, I'm sorry. Why are you so upset? I'm just saying give him a chance," Harry suggested as he stood up. He walked closer, but Hermione only walked farther away. Harry could tell she was crying. Still with her back to him, she whispered through her tears, "I can't give him a chance, Harry.not if I like someone else." Harry was silent for a minute. He dared to ask, " Can I ask who?" Hermione sobbed, then turned to face Harry, then she shouted, "It's you, Harry.it's you." And with that she stared at him for a few seconds as if she wanted to add something, but couldn't, and then she ran back toward the castle. Harry stood stunned and thought to himself, "Ron's really not going to like this!"  
  
Ron was released from the Hospital Wing the next day. For three supposedly close friends, they didn't seem to be spending much time together. Harry was avoiding Ron because he didn't want to tell him about Hermione. Ron was avoiding Hermione because he blushed whenever he saw her. Hermione was avoiding Ron because of his crush and she was avoiding Harry because she was so embarrassed. They only talked to each other when they had to in class, but even that they tried to avoid. This continued for a few days, until one day while Harry was in the Common's Room alone, Hermione walked in and decided to break the silence. "Um. Harry?" she asked. He looked up. She continued, "I just wanted to tell you that what I said the other day, well, it was stupid. I mean I realize now that was just a crush. It didn't really mean anything." She blushed. "Ok," Harry managed to say. That seemed to break the ice between them, but Ron was still avoiding Hermione. 


	3. the letter

Chapter3: the letter Winter break was approaching, and it was time for Hermione and Ron to decide whether they were staying or not. Ron thought that this year might be a good year to go home, especially since it would only be him and Ginny at home. So, he decided to go home while Hermione decided to stay.  
  
Harry received many gifts for Christmas this year and he enjoyed the Christmas feast with Hermione. A few days later, before school started back, Harry received a letter at breakfast. It looked like it had traveled a long way and Harry could barely make out what it said:  
  
Mr. Potter, I'm sorry I haven't been able to write sooner, but I have been awfully busy. Before you ask, you do not know me, but believe that I know you; all to well I'm afraid. I don't know the exact correct way to say this, so I will just tell you the truth. I want to meet you. I have a business proposition for you. Simply fly over the Dark Forest, due North. You will know when you find me, for I will be waiting. You have until January 31st. That should insure that you get this letter in time. If you do not arrive by the above date, I will be forced to come get you. You may think you are safe in those walls, and you are safe from most, but not me, I have ways. Do NOT, and I repeat do NOT take this note to any type of authority at all. If you do, I will surely find out, as I said before I have my ways, and I will come for you. Also, do not attempt to respond to this letter, for I move around a lot and cannot be found easily.  
  
- sincerely yours, your new best friend.  
  
Harry looked up at Hermione with terror in his eyes. Heremione asked, "What is it, Harry? What does it say?" Harry answered, " That's exactly it, I don't know what it says." He handed the letter to Hermione, who quickly read it. She then looked up at it, Harry? What does it say?"  
  
Harry answered, " That's exactly it, I don't know what it says." He handed the letter to Hermione, who quickly read it. She then looked up at Harry and responded, "You know you have to take this to Dumbledore immediately. It could be one of u-know who's followers." "No, I can't! He said no authority," Harry said quietly so know one would hear. Hermione looked as if she was going to respond, but then decided it better not to.  
  
Harry kept reading the letter all day, he didn't know what to do about it. He wanted to take it to Dumbledore, or even write to Sirius, but this person seemed to know everything that happened at Hogwarts, and Harry was very afraid of the consequences. Hermione didn't say much for once. She seemed to be just as confused as Harry. When Ron and the rest of the school came back from break, Harry nor Hermione told him about the letter.  
  
So a few weeks went by and all Harry could think about was that letter. So, one Sunday morning, before the sun rose, Harry grabbed his broom and headed outside. He was determined to go whether it was dangerous or not. As he walked out to the edge of the forest, he heard someone scream. He turned around to find Hermione following him, she had been watching him waiting for him to try to sneek off. He begged her not to go, but in the end the two of them flew off. After a while, they came to a clearing, and Harry saw a tall, dark man standing there.  
  
Harry told Hermione to stay back so as not to be seen, and he went down. The man saw Harry, "Ah, Potter I'm glad u could make it." "Who are u?" Harry asked. The man stared at him with an evil look, and walked a little closer, "Why, as I said in my letter, I'm your new best friend, Steven Gibbs! Nice to meet you!" Harry stood back. So, Steven began talking, he said he worked for Voldermort, but was getting tired of the man, he wanted to help Harry and spy on Voldermort for him!  
  
Harry didn't trust this guy, "Why didn't you go to the Ministry?" he asked. "B/c think Harry, Voldermort would find out! Don't you think he still has spies! Honestly, I thought you were smarter than that!" Gibbs answered. Harry thought for a few minutes, he was right. Before Harry knew it, he heard Hermione scream, "Harry look out!" Harry turned and looked back at the man, who was pulling out his wand, "I thought I said no one else Potter!"  
  
And before Harry knew it, a spark flew out of his wand and hit Hermione, she fell instantly to the ground. "Hermione!" Harry screamed, but he dare not turn his back on this man again. He stared right at Steven, "What do you want from me!" Steven stared evilly at him, "I wanted to help, but apparently you don't trust me." He hopped on his broom, "I'll be in touch. We'll talk again when you're ready to listen!" And with that he flew off.  
  
Harry waited a minute to make sure he was gone and then ran over to where Hermione had fallen. Harry rolled her over and looked at her brused face, "Oh, Hermione. Why are you always trying to help!" He picked her up. Gently holding her, he managed to get on his broom, and flew immediately to the Hospital wing.  
  
He told Madame Pomfrey that they had been practining Dueling on broomsticks, and Hermione had taken a bad hit. She seemed to buy the story. Harry immediately went to Ron, who had just woken up. Ron wasn't too happy, "I can't believe you didn't tell me, your best friend, and you didn't say a BLOODY word!" (Ron always says bloody)  
  
So, Harry made it through they day ok. Ron never really got over it though. Sunday afternoon, he decided to go see Hermione, without Ron. Harry approached the room and noticed Hermione was standing near the window, "Hermione?" She seemed startled, but turned and looked at Harry, "Hi." "How are you feeling?" "Ok, I guess."  
  
Harry walked closer, "Hermione, I came because I wanted to tell you something." Hermione still stood at the window. Harry walked closer, he could tell she was upset about everything that had happened. "What Harry." " I wanted to tell you, I'm sorry." Hermione looked up at him, "Sorry for what?" Harry mumbled, "Well, for everything. I should never have let you get involved."  
  
Hermione smiled, "that's ok." She turned and looked out the window again. Harry walked closer and put his hand on her shoulder, "There's something else.. When I saw you fall to the ground, for a brief moment I thought that maybe, just maybe you were dead. And when I had that thought, I couldn't breath Hermione, I couldn't think, I couldn't move. It had never occured to me that something like that could ever happen. Then when I picked you up and realized you were ok, I was sooo relieved. I thought the whole time flying back, about how my life would be without you, I couldn't bear it."  
  
Hermione turned and looked at him oddly. "I'm trying to say, Hermione..that. I love you." Hermione stared at him longer, "Harry?" He smiled. Her eyes feeled with tears, "You know that crush I used to have on you, I never told you this, but it wasn't just a crush Harry." Harry hugged her before she could say anymore. Then he kissed her forhead. They're foreheads touched, "Hermione, this may be the last time I can do this."  
  
He slowly and softly kissed her, and she kissed back. "We can't do this again, Hermione." He walked away from her. "Harry, you mean we can't tell each other how we feel." "No, you know why. I can't risk putting you in danger again. If anyone knew, you'd be on the top of the list to kidnap or hurt or kill even!" Hermione let the tears fall, "Harry, I know, but it doesn't seem right, why do we have to suffer!" She ran closer to him, he grabbed her, kissed her again, and then stared at her for a minute, "I love you. Don't ever forget that." Hermione smiled, "I love you, too."  
  
Harry walked out of the Hospital wing very happy, on to the grounds where Ron was hanging out with Ginny and some Slytherins were around too. Ron looked very upset as he walked toward Harry. "Hey Harry!" Harry looked over, "What's up Ron?" Before Harry knew it, Ron was pushing Harry. "Ron?" "Why did you have to go and do that Harry? You knew I liked her!" Harry looked confused. "I saw you idiot!" Harry's stomach dropped, the window, Ron must have seen them, oh no. "Ron, I can explain." "No, I don't want an explanation, I want to VENT MY ANGER, on you!"  
  
Malfoy seemed to have heard, "What's this, Potter stole poor, poor Weasley's girlfriend?" They both screamed, "Shut up Malfoy!" He laughed. Harry confronted Ron, "Look, I'm sorry, I'm not going to fight you Ron." Ron said, "Fine," and with that Harry felt a hard punch in the face. When he awoke, he heard Malfoy laughing continuosly, and Ron over him, "Are you ok?" Harry managed a "Yeah." "Good," and with that Ron was gone. 


	4. Snape's Past

Chapter 4: Snape's past The next day, Hermione was still in the hospital wing and Ron wasn't talking to Harry. In Potions, Snape seemed to be different. He didn't make fun or yell at Harry. Infact, he didn't even look at Harry. At the end of class, as everyone was leaving, Snape finally spoke to him, "Potter, stay after class, I need to talk to you." Harry walked up to Snape's desk. Snape stared straight into Harry's eyes, sighed, and said "Potter, Potter, Potter.." "Yes sir?" "I heard about your little confrontation in the woods." Harry's stomach dropped. "Did u really think no one would find out?" "Sir, I can explain that, I mean.." "OH SHUT UP Potter, I'm not going to tell Dumbledore, if that's what your worried about!" Harry felt a little better. "No, Potter, I'm not here to discuss that, well, not yet anyways." Snape stood up and started pacing infront of his desk where Harry was standing. "Oh, Potter, where to begin, where to begin." "Sir?" "Potter," Snape stared at him again as he sat on the edge of his desk, " U know that I have been working for Dumbledore the last few years, to help him with his quest to defeat Voldermort?" Harry nodded. "Yes, well, you see," for once Snape looked uncomfortable in Harry's presence. "Yes, sir?" "Dumbledore has asked me to do him a favor, and it involves you."  
  
Harry looked at Snape surprised. " Now I think you would agree that neither of us likes the other very much, but when it comes to Dumbledore, I'm afraid we have to listen." There was a pause, "I need to tell you something Potter. Maybe, just maybe it will open your eyes a little bit."  
  
Dun dun dunnnnnn:  
  
Harry stood ready for whatever was to come, "ok, sir." Snape started pacing again. He looked up at the ceiling, and mubbled to himself, "15 years, 15 years, and I never have had to tell this story, not once." He looked at Harry, "But I geuss I can't keep my 'ungrateful teacher' persona forever." Harry was confused, "I don't understand sir." Snape walked back to his desk and sat on the edge again. "You see, Potter, many people know about my childhood. I grew up in a wizarding family, I attended Hogwarts, was a Syltherin, I hated your father and his friends, I was an execellent student..bla bla bla. Many also know I worked for the ministry before coming to Hogwarts, that's how I got involved with Voldermort.  
  
"But many people didn't know about my personal life at that time. I liked it that way, keeping things to myself." "What are you saying sir?" "You see Potter, I had a family. I was married and I had a daughter, Olivia was her name. We were... very happy." Harry stood stunned, Snape married? Snape let a small smile appear on his face,he looked like he was off in daydreaming land, "Anyways, I wasn't happy with the way the ministry was handling things, many of my co-workers were talking about this secret society, so I checked it out. It intrigued me Potter, Voldermort talked about all the wonderful changes he wanted to make in the ministry, how if he was minister, things would be different. I was so overwhelmed. I started helping Voldermort with his campaign, behind the minsitry's back, as were so many others. I never told my family what was going on or why I was gone for days at a time.  
  
"One day, Voldermort, unexpectedly stopped by our home. Thankfully my wife and daughter were not home, but they came back while he was there. It wasn't a good experience Potter." He paused to look at Harry. "Olivia was only 2 and she didn't understand who this strange man was, and well, I always said she had good instincts. After that day, I started questioning Voldermort's real intentions. Things just weren't adding up. But I never really got a chance to do anything about it. He confronted me one day, said he wasn't sure if he could trust me anymore. But I convinced him, or thought I did.  
  
That week, many of us were sent to work on a specific project, I was gone for about 4 days. When I returned, my wife, she, was very upset, she wanted me to tell her everything, but I couldn't, Potter, I co..u.ld.n't" Harry saw tears swelling in Snape's deep eyes. Snape lowered his face and covered it with one hand. Harry swore he heard sobbing. "Sir, if u don't mind me asking, what happened to them?"  
  
Snape looked up at Harry, "The next morning, they went to the market as they always did, but they never came back." There was another pause, " I received an owl, later, saying that there had been a terrrible accident at the market that morning, and that my wife and daughter had gotten caught in an explosion, and ... (Snape sniffs) well, Potter, they were killed. Poor Anna, she tried so hard to help me!" "Anna, was your wife sir?" "Yes. Afterwards I figured out that it had to have been Voldermort. I assume he wanted to use my anger and hate to turn me into a perfect death eater, but I didn't. No, I turned on him instead."  
  
Harry stood speechless, "I, I'm sorry sir." Harry had never seen this side of Snape before, he had lost his family too!? "Why did you tell me this Sir?" Snape didn't answer for a few minutes, "Because Potter, as I said before, Dumbledore has asked me to do him a favor. I needed to prove to you somehow that I was on your side. Did I atleast do that?"  
  
Harry nodded. "Good, you see Potter, Voldermort taught me many things, many Dark Arts things. The one I'm the most proud of is the ability to read minds." Harry was confused again. "He taught me how to find things in people, especially the unconconscious, he wanted it to black mail people, and he chose me as his apprentince. I still am one of the best mind readers in the wizarding world today."  
  
"Sir, what does all this have to do with me?" "Dumbledore and I have been talking and we think that you, are one of the few wizards who can defeat Voldermort." Harry stood stunned, was that a compliment?? "I say that, because you've done it before. There's something inside you Potter, memories of that night, the way you killed him, memories being protected from your conscious thoughts. Dumbledore wants me, to find those memories. He wants me to perform a mind search on you." Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing, Snape read his mind?? "The only problem is that it takes trust Potter. That's something neither of us have for one another, but I hoped by telling you my deepest, darkest secret, the one thing that moves my cold heart, that maybe, just maybe you would be willing enough to open up to me."  
  
Harry stood speechless, "You want to read my mind, sir?" "Yes," Snape looked deep into Harry's eyes, "I, we, want to know what secret you are hiding in there," he pointed to Harry's head and paused before he said the next word, "Harry." Harry couldn't believe Snape would be so nice, it had to be a trick. I mean, he even called him by his first name! "I would have to ask Dumbledore first..." "So , you still don't get it, do you! Well, maybe it's better that way." He stood up and walked back around his desk.  
  
"Sir, it's not that I don't believe your story, and I'm really sorry for what happened, it's just that a lot of things have been going on and.." Snape looked up, more angry than ever before, "And you think, I care enough to see them while I'm in your head. Well, your wrong, Potter." After a pause, Snape looked like his normal, evil self again. "I don't care what's in there. I am looking for one, thing, " he stood up over Harry, "and one thing only. I am extremely good at finding what I want, that's why I am the best. But if it will ..make u feel better, go talk to Dumbledore, but I want an answer by this afternoon!" "Sure," Harry said, and bolted out the door of the dungeoens. There was someone else he had to talk to before he saw Dumbledore.  
  
Harry ran up the stairs to the hospital wing, where he found Hermione sitting up, hugging her knees. She looked as if she was in deep thought. "Hermione, your still here!" Hermione looked up and smiled, "Harry!" He walked over to her, but he didn't really know what to do, should he hug her, or kiss her on the cheek? He thought it better to just sit down. "Harry, is something wrong, you look upset." Harry decided to tell her everything. "So let me get this straight. Snape can read minds, and he wants to read yours?"  
  
"Yes" Harry sighed. "You know I've read some things about that, but it involves soooo much dark magic I didn't want to even try! Those people who do know that kind of power, well, I've read that they've gone crazy Harry! I mean after a person has let them into their mind, all the mind reader has to do, is look into their eyes and see everything they're thinking!" Harry was caught off guard, "WHAT!" Hermione nodded. "But Harry, why did you want to tell me?"  
  
"Well," Harry answered, "I was afraid he might find out about us. You're all that's been on my mind the last few days." Harry blushed, so did Hermione. "Well, from what I know, mind readers can advance to such levels that they can search in a matter of seconds! If Snape's as good as he says, he's not going to be paying attentnion to that stuff! Besides, you can always black mail, him. Threaten to tell the whole school about his past!" Harry smiled, "Your always a step ahead! That's what I love about you, Hermione." Harry stopped, oops, shouldn't a said that! Hermione blushed. "I'm sorry," Harry said. He stood up, "Thanks, Hermione." She smiled and he kissed her forhead. And with that he headed back toward the dungeon.  
  
Harry walked back to the dungoens, but instead of knocking at Snape's office door, he decided to wait a minute and sat on the floor to calm down. As he did such, he heard a voice, "Scared Harry?" Harry looked up to see Dumbledore, who was starting to sit down beside him. "Sir, I didn't see you there, sorry!" "Oh, that's fine, I'm sort of quiet." There was a long pause as the two sat there beside on another on the cold, dark floor. "So, I understand you are somewhat apprenesive of Professor Snape?" Dumbldore asked. "I just, the more I think about it Si,r the more I don't want to do this."  
  
"Oh, Harry, I understand. You see I want Prof. Snape to do this because I think you ARE ready." Harry looked surprised. "Why do you think I never asked him to do this before!" he laughed, "No, you are a very mature young man, Harry, and this is very important information. But I only want you to do this if you think you can." Harry paused, "I think I am ready sir, just a little scared I geuss." Dumbledore looked deep into his eyes, "Are you sure? " Harry nodded. "I believe that Prof. Snape is a good man, Harry. I only hope that the two of you can set aside your differences long enough to do this for me." Harry nodded, "I understand sir, but Snape said I had to trust him."  
  
"Well, you have to atleast be willing to let him see what's in your mind," he laughed again, "Trust is much longer down the line, I do believe!" "Well, then sir, I guess I am ready." Harry seemed to actually be feeling good about this for the first time. The two stood up, "Now, I want you to understand something Harry. Whatever else Prof. Snape may find hidden in your head, he will not tell anyone besides me." Harry felt better about that, he really didn't want to ask. And with that Dumbledore walked off. Harry knocked on Snape's door. He heard a loud, deep voice answer, "Come in Potter."  
  
Harry slowly opened the door to find Snape sitting behind his desk with his eyes closed and his hand together as if meditating. "I'm ready sir." Snape opened his eyes to look at Harry. "I just have one more question." "Yes?" Snape looked annoyed. "I heard somewhere that once a mind reader reads someone's mind, it only take a stare at some other point and time for them to be able to read that person's thoughts." Snape sighed as he stood up and walked around to the front of his desk, "It depends Potter. It depends on whether the two people are staring at each other long enough and intensly enough, but more than that, as I said before it has a lot to do with trust."  
  
Harry looked confused again. Snape noticed, sat down on his desk, and continued, "Take for instance, two friends. Two people who know each other well, who are open and honest and one reads the others mind. Then yes, it would be very easy to look at them and read their thoughts at anytime. And yes, it would be very troublesome. However, for two people like us who are so unwilling to do this in the first place, well, it would take way to much effort on both our parts! And besides, I don't like staring at you anymore than you do at me. I highly doubt it will be a problem." Harry seemed happy with that, "Ok." Another sigh as he folded his arms across his chest, "So are you finally ready now?" "Yes" Harry replied.  
  
"Good. Now what I need you to do is close your eyes." Harry hesitated. "Dooo IT." So, Harry closed his eyes. "Now, I need you to think of a happy thought. Some memory, or a conversation or something you own you like, I don't care. Just something you don't mind me knowing about. Tell me when you have it." "There goes Hermione!" Harry thought. So he decided to focus on Quiditch since it was something he knew that Snape knew he liked, "Got it." "Good. Now, I need you to go into that thought and focus. Think about every single, percise detail in that thought. Think of the shapes, the colors, the smells, the people if there are any. Think of anything and everything involved in that idea." "K" Harry answered. "Now when I say to, I want you to open your eyes slowly as possible and look straight into mine. Don't blink until I say to."  
  
And with that Snape unfolded his arms and put his hands on his head. He closed his eyes and slowly lifted his head toward the ceiling. After a few minutes of concentration, he slowly lowered his head back to the original postion, grabbed his desk with his hands, leaned forward, "Ready...now." The two of them slowly and steadily opened their eyes toward one another (Imagine the camera shot of this! side angle of them simintaneously(?) opening their eyes).  
  
Harry felt Snape's cold eyes intensley staring at him. He tried not to think about it, he thought only of that first game of quiditch. He felt a small twich in his head as he watched the light bounce off of Snape's dark eyes, but concentrated on the Quiditch. After a few minutes, he didn't see Snape's stare. He thought of every move he had made, as if he was flying again. He tried to skip the part about Snape saving him though. And then he was diving, diving for the snitch, he felt himself reaching for it, reaching, and then falling onto the ground. That weird feeling in his mouth, then spitting it into his hands. And then there was the crowd, the crowd was screaming and cheering! He felt the adreniline and the warmth in his heart, he felt his hand holding the snitch, and then he heard a voice, "hum.. Quiditch I should have known." He came too and saw Snape leaning back onto the desk. "U can blink now."  
  
Harry blinked and shook his head, it all felt strange. "Interesting Potter, very interesting," Snape snickered. "Sir, is it over?" "Yes Potter, it is over and you may have a slight headache for a while, but it will go away." With that Snape stood up, walked around to the back of his desk and sat down. Harry watched as he pulled out a piece of parchment and started writing. He looked up at Harry after a few mminutes, "Your still here?" he asked with a curve in his lip.(hehe "up to something")"Well, aren't u going to tell me what you saw!" Snape sighed and looked very annoyed(as always) "Look, Potter, I have to discuss what I saw with Dumbledore, if we feel anything is significant then you will know."  
  
Harry felt a sudden rage run throughout his body. "Exucse me SIR," he stood up so that Snape would have to look up to him, "But I beleive I have a right to know." Snape stared back at him with his head tilted to one side, "Look Potter, I will only say this once and then I want you to leave. Somethings are better left to the unconscious." Harry didn't understand, "What?"  
  
Snape sighed and rolled his eyes, "Do you ever wonder why you even have a subconcious? It's because there are some memories that are so strong, so powerful, we cannot get them out of our heads, so our minds create a space for them and hides them from the rest of our..more... joyoius memories. Even if we were to remember them, some of them would be so over powering that our bodies wouldn't be able to handle them. Many mind readers have made people go insane from what they have found, I cannot do that to you Potter." Harry stood quietly, "So, there IS something there isn't there." Snape nodded. Harry looked away for a minute to think and then turned to walk out. Before he got to the door, he turned to Snape and said, "Thank you."  
  
Harry left the dungeon, but it was late , so he went to the Common room, where he found Hermione talking to Ron of all people! "Hermione, you're out of the hospital?" Harry asked. She looked up at him and smiled, "Yeah, she let me go early." Ron looked oddly at Harry, "So, how was it, having your mind read?" Harry stared blankly at him. "Hermione u told HIM!" "I had to Harry, it's all I could think about!" "So?" Ron asked, "How was it having that twit(hehe *sheriff*) in ur head??" Harry walked over to them and began explaining it all. Hermione asked a thousand and one questions as Harry told them everything he remembered. Afterwards, he felt incredibly tired and went to bed early. He had dreams of drinking wine and eating cake, but he couldn't figure out why!(yet another BAAM joke) 


	5. BAAM attacks!

Chapter 5:BAAM attacks Harry woke late the next morning. He rushed to class, skipping breakfast. In transfiguration, he found Hermione talking to 4 Ravenclaw girls that he knew as Becky, Amber, Abi, and Melissa. He had heard that they were incredibly smart, but talkative and that they enjoyed Potions class a little too much. They seemed to be whispering and giggling, but stopped when they noticed he had entered the room. After class, Hermione walked up to him, "Did you sleep ok last night?" "Yeah," Harry answered, " I'm going to the Library, I've got a lot to think about." Hermione nodded and walked off to her next class. In the library, Harry tried to calm down. He was still worried about what Snape had said. What did he mean, "He couldn't do that to him?" Was his memories that bad? Just then, those Ravenclaw girls walked up to him. Mel was the first to speak, "Harry Potter, right?" Harry nodded. She continued, "Hi! I'm Mel, this is Amber, Abi, and Becky. We're friends of Hermione." "Yeah I know. Hi," Harry answered. Mel went silent and blushed, so Amber spoke up, "Um..mind if we sit down?" "No" Harry answered.  
  
So the girls sat down. Abi continued, "Harry, we wanted to talk to you about Hermione." Becky jumped in, "Yeah, ever sense she got back, she's not been herself." Amber continued, "We were concerned that maybe you had said something to upset her?" Harry stared blankly at them. Mel chimed back in, "Do you have a crush on her?!" "NO." harry stared in another direction. "Then what happened?" Abi asked. Harry really didn't want to talk about this. Amber chimmed in, "Ok, girls. I think we have to tell him the truth." They all looked at her for guidance. "Harry," she continued, "We..um..we aren't just students." "What?" Harry asked. Mel cont., "We are at the top of our class(7th year) and we were selected by Dumbledore for a special mission." Becky added, "You see Harry, we are here to help you."  
  
Amber rolled her eyes, "Guys stop beating around the bush! Ok, Harry, here's the deal. Dumbledore is having a hard time finding loyal supporters. Our parents are good friends of his, so he thought he could trust us with a small mission. He asked us to keep an eye on you. He wants to know what you are doing and when. Since we're good friends of Hermione it's easy to do. We also were the ones that told Snape about your little letter. God it was almost impossible to get out of her!" Harry felt suddenly angry, "YOU told him!" Abi jumped in, "Well, we didn't want to go to Dumbledore!" Mel added, "Yeah, and he is our favorite Professor." Becky quickly added, "What she means is, we trust him. We also knew Dumbledore was thinking about the mindreading thing and well, it made sense to tell Snape."  
  
Harry stared blanky at them again. "So Dumbledore wants you to wacth out for me?" "Yes" Amber added, "and in doing so we need to know what's going on with Hermione." Abi asked, "Did you two have a fight?" "or did she tell you about her crush?" asked Mel. "I already know about that!" Harry answered. Becky spoke up, "Well, do you have a crush on her? Becuase if you did that would be so great." they all smiled. "NO, I DON'T" Harry almost yelled, before he realized he was in the library, "I..I love her." Abi, Becky, and Mel began to speak, but Amber raised her hand, "No girls, let him speak. What happened Harry?" So, Harry told them about his promise to Hermione. They all sighed with dreamy eyes. Mel let something slip, "I wish professor Snape would promise me that." "MEL!" yelled Becky. Abi laughed. Harry's stomach turned. "Anyways," Amber quickly added, "I'm glad we know. Thank you, Harry." She stood up and the others followed. Abi continued, "Remember Harry, that we are only here to help." Amber added, "If you ever need us, just say BAAM really loud and we'll come running."  
  
"No offense, but how could you ever help me?" Harry asked. Becky laughed, "Well, I don't know if we could. But it's nice to know you have support right!" Mel responded, "5's better than 1 anyday! We'll keep in touch. Bye Harry." And with that they left Harry to think. But he wasn't sure what to think about!  
  
He made his way back to the common's room to get his books before Potions. He really was dreading that class. Ron was waiting, "Harry, I just wanted to say I am sorry about punching you." Harry was taken aback by this remark, "Uh..it's ok Ron. I know you were really upset." "Yeah," Ron responded, "but Hermione told me the whole story last night and I feel better now that I know you 2 aren't dating. I'm glad you're mature enough to want to protect her. You know I'd do anything for her."  
  
So, with that the 2 walked to Potions together. Harry told Ron how he was feeling. When he walked into the classroom, his stomach got wozzy and he felt nauseus. Snape was already there, sitting in his chair. He stared up at Harry as they walked in. Harry quickly turned his glance. The last thing he wanted was Snape knowing his thoughts right now. Class went normally. Snape found every opportunity to yell at Harry and Ron. He acted as if he had forgotten the night before. Whatever sympathy Harry had for him was slowly fading.  
  
And so this was how it continued through the winter months. March approached and flowers began to bloom. Harry hadn't spoken to the Ravenclaw girls since that day in the library, but he had a feeling they were still watching. Although, he did see them sneeking into Snape's office one late afternoon with what looked like, wine and a small cake, handcuffs and a cauldron?! Harry just tried to get it out of his mind. "Those girls are too weird!" he thought to himself, "How are they ever going to help me?!" 


End file.
